Those final weeks between Rob's departure, and that of the rest of the kids seemed to fly by faster than the ones before. Before Jo knew what had hit her, it was the night before..before..she didn't know exactly.
The stars had never been brighter to her as she sat on the fence post out by the paddock. So lost was she in the night sky that she never even heard Nick approaching.
"Can't ever get enough of that sky huh?" Nick said with a grin. Jo looked up at him in surprise. "Mind if I sit?" Jo thought about it for a moment, then nodded and scooted over.
He let the silence drag on until Jo was ready to talk. "I've always loved this time of the day," she said finally, "It's SO peaceful. The children were always safe, and in bed..well..most of the time anyway. And there were no surprises, no bad things happened. No one could leave you at night." Nick listened to her words and felt a pang of sympathy for this mother who seemed to be "loosing" her children..in her eyes anyway. "And you know," she went on again, "They're not the only ones leaving." At Nick's confused glance she said, "Nick, you're going to have to leave too."
"Jo.." he began.
"No," Jo went on, "Nick, as much as I want you to stay, you know you can't. It's one thing for us to live here with the children..another for us to live here by ourselves. Even if we're courting--especially if we're courting."
"Are we courtin'?" Nick grinned. At Jo's terrified glance (had she said something wrong? Had she assumed too much?) Nick quickly put a hand on her arm. "Jo! Since the moment I first saw you, I thought you were beautiful. And whether it's been official or not.." Jo smiled to herself and looked away. "You know," Nick said, removing something from his pocket, "There is a way that we could stay here together."
As Jo began to protest, knowing what he was going to say, Nick only put a finger to her lips. He carefully removed a small ring from a worn box and placed it in the palm of Jo's hand. "Nick," she breathed, "It's beautiful! Where did you get this?"
"When me 'n my brother left all them years ago, we each took what we needed," Nick smiled at the memory, a bittersweet smile, "Ben took Pa's watch..he always loved that watch. And I took Ma's weddin' ring. I never really thought I'd ever have use for it.."
"Nick," Jo said, taking a very deep breath, "I can't." As his face fell she went on to say, "It's not that I don't care for you, because I do. Nick-I-I love you. As a friend, and as so much more. And the thought of you leaving along with the children," she paused as she just couldn't find any more words. Nick pulled her closer to him, and before she knew what was happening, he'd kissed her.
"Jo, I don't gotta leave," he said again.
"Yes you do. Nick, I can't marry you," she repeated herself as well, "Not now. Not for this reason. Nick, I won't marry you just because I don't want to be alone!" They sat in silence for a few minutes, each thinking of the others words.
"That's fair Jo," Nick said, "But even if I don't live here, you ain't gonna be alone."
"I know that Nick, and I trust in that," she said with a smile, "That's probably one of the only things that allows me to let those children leave."
"But you won't marry me?" Nick said, as if trying to make himself understand and believe.
"No, not now," Jo said, leaning against him.
"Never thought I'd ask anyone that," Nick said with a chuckle, "And if I did, never thought she'd say that.."
Jo smiled at first, but then said soberly, "I'm sorry Nick."
"Aww, that's alright. Laurie told me awhile ago that he knew a place I could stay if I had to," Nick said, "It's close by."
After some more silence, Jo got down and said, "I'm going to turn in..it's going to be a long day tomorrow."
She looked at Nick expectantly and he said, "I'm gonna stay out here a while." She nodded and was just walking off when she remembered the ring in her hand.
"Oh Nick," she said, a bit sheepishly, "Here, I'm sure you want this back."
"Naw, you keep it."
"Oh Nick, I couldn't possibly-"
"Jo, that's one of the most important things I own. One of the only things left from my family, my past. I don't remember my Ma much, but I know that if she could 'a met ya, she would 'a loved ya. So, I know she'd want you to have it anyway," Nick said. Seeing some lingering doubt on Jo's face he added, "You keep it till I put it on your finger."
She smiled, nodded, and began to walk away. As he watched her go, he silently wondered how everything works out, even though it never seems like it will. His coming there..his staying there..
"Oh Nick!" Jo called, walking back a bit. Nick almost groaned, not wanting her to try and give the ring back again.
"What?" he called.
"Ask me again sometime," she said. And while it appeared to be a statement, Nick also felt that there was some question to it.
Nick gave her one of his famous looks and simply nodded. With a smile, Jo walked on towards the house. Before turning in for the night herself, she made sure to check on the kids. 'Even after all these years,' she thought as she stared at the sleeping lumps, a wave of safe peace washing over her. If only she knew that those "sleeping lumps" were really pillows..
Part 9 -
"This better be good Dan," Nan muttered as she climbed the ladder to the loft in the barn.
"Okay, we're all here now," Dan said, ignoring her comment, yet shooting her a look.
"Yes Dan," Bess said, seated between Dan and Nan in their little circle, "But why are we here?"
"Well, I figured that this is probably our last night together for a while, and that we should.. aww, I dunno," Dan said, suddenly feeling a tad foolish.
"No Dan, you're right. It was a good idea," Nat protested.
"Well I don't think so. I mean, it's not like we're never going to see each other again," Nan muttered.
"Yes, but we don't know exactly when that'll be," Bess said gently.
There was silence in the room for a time, and then Dan said, "That's it! We have to set a date!" The other three looked at him in confusion. "A date when we're all gonna meet again," Dan explained. Bess' face lit up, and Nat looked interested as well.
"Well, we're going to be married in a year.." Bess started.
"What about Christmas?" Nat asked.
"Christmas in a year!" confirmed Dan. Then, all three gave Nan a tentative look.
"Oh," she muttered, "All right." She reluctantly put both of her hands in the middle of their little "circle," palms up. Bess gently placed her hand in Nan's as Nat firmly grasped the other. Once all their hands were joined, Dan again repeated their promise.
"Christmas in a year."
"In a year," was their joint reply.
"Come in!" Jo called in answer to the knock on her door.
Nick walked in and smiled at the sight of her in her new dress. "You all ready?" he asked. She nodded and stretched out her hands towards him. He took them in his own, momentarily glancing down at her hands.
"I put it here," she said, referring to the ring that she knew he was wondering about. She lifted her necklace out from her collar where she usually carefully hid it daily. On the chain was her locket from Rob, her old wedding ring, and the Nick's gift to her from the night before. He nodded with a smile.
"Asia's just 'bout done sayin' bye to the kids," Nick said.
"She's still not going to the station?" Jo asked.
"Naw," Nick simply replied. After a moment or two of silence Nick asked, "You okay?"
Jo paused and gave him a look, telling him that no, she wasn't "okay," but she'd survive. She said, "Let's go, they can't miss their rides." She put up a brave smile, took Nick's arm, and, picking up a small stack of something, walked out of the room.
"I love you mother," whispered Bess as she enveloped her mother in a hug.
"And I love you. Remember, if you need anything, we're not that far, and Nat will be there-" Amy was interrupted by Nat again reassuring everyone that he'd be there to watch out for Bess.
"You write and tell us how it is working for a big newspaper," Harrison Bridger said, patting Nat on the back.
"I will," Nat said, grinning from ear to ear.
"Okay guys," Nick said, returning from his trip to inquire about the departure time.
They all nodded, realizing that this was it..not yet quite sure what 'it' was..but that this was it. Dan folded Bess into a lasting embrace, and, after a moment of hesitation, Nat and Nan hugged as well. Then, all four drew in close to Jo, for their final moments together.
"I," Jo began in a slightly shaky voice, "will always remember the day that each of you came to Plumbfield, and how much joy you brought into my life. This will always be your home; you'll always be welcome here. And so, when things get tough, and you want to give up or quit, always remember that you must try. It's true that if you don't try, you can't fail, but it's also true that if you don't try, you'll never succeed."
"I love you Mrs. Jo," Nan whispered, hugging her very close. And each of the four took their short turn with her. Right before they left, Jo pressed a small envelope into each of their hands. On each envelope, a name was neatly written.
"Read those today, or tomorrow..not now..when you need that extra boost of courage and hope," Jo said softly. And then, the moment came. Nat helped Bess up and into the train, all the while his eyes following Nan as she got onto her train. Dan gazed at Bess and Nat's train until it was a small speck, and then, with a final nod to Nick and Jo, he rode off..west.
"You ready to go home?" Nick asked gently.
"No," she mumbled, not really paying attention, "I'll walk."
Nick shared a worried glance with Amy and Laurie and then looked up at the darkening sky. "Seems like it'll rain soon," he said slowly.
"I'll be fine," she said reassuringly, squeezing his hand. He hesitated a second, and then nodded, walking away. And as the wind picked up, Jo calmly walked over to the graveyard, up to a certain gravestone.
"Well," she whispered, kneeling close to the ground, "they've finally grown up. All of them." And for what seemed to be an eternity, she sat there, just thinking about the past, the events of that day...and what was to come.
Later that day, all the kids, tired out from their journey, made it to their respective destinations. And, remembering Jo's words, they each opened their letters. What they found inside...well..Bess was the first to open hers, not knowing that it was no different than the others.
Dearest Bess,
I shall always love you, and Plumbfield shall always be your home. I hope as you read this that you remember that the most important things in life never change.
All my love,
Aunt Jo
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove
Bess, holding the letter in her hand with her art portfolio walked up the steps of her new home; a rooming house shared by girls from all walks of life-some finer than her own. Taking a deep breath, she walked inside, head held high, a warm smile on her face…
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Nan, also holding the letter along with her new biology and chemistry books, slowly looked up from her shoes as she rounded the corner. Before her stood a massive campus…medical school. A long road seemed to stretch in front of her, filled with many hardships and obstacles. As she neared the gates to the campus, she resisted the urge to look back, and instead secured a firmer grip on her suitcase, pushed her hair back, and walked onto that campus with purpose…
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Dan, letter in his shirt pocket, pulled his horse up along side a group of travelers. After a few moments of conversation, smiles broke out on both ends, and Dan followed suit with the rest of the wagons and horses, all headed toward western dreams…
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
Nat folded the letter carefully, and stuck it in his journal. As he unpacked his few possessions by his new desk, he lifted out a picture of his family…the only family he'd ever known. Looking at Nan and imagining her brave figure beside him, he walked towards the office of his new boss…
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved…
Jo turned her face up towards the sky as a light mist began to fall. The day's weather went along wonderfully with her own mood. As she neared Plumbfield, she steeled herself for what she had been expecting: the empty house. Yet what she hadn't expected was the flood of memories that practically ran her over the minute she touched the gate. Oh….that gate….
The wagon came to a slow halt, and everything happened almost as if they were living out the moment in slow motion…in wonder…in shock and awe. Dan was the first to jump down, helping Jo next. She walked with a happy stride towards the gate, pausing at its threshold to just look at their beautiful home. She placed her hands on the bars and could have sworn that she felt the life and power inside that place. But when she pushed open the gate, the right side jerked and then fell as it had been doing for a while now. She turned back just in time to see Nick give the gate a deathly glare, yet she smiled all the same.
"Well, it isn't perfect, but it's still the best school in town! Let's go!" she said, miraculously finding just the right words. It was all the children needed. They were off and running…she and Franz close behind…they had never been so frightened, or so relieved…
As Jo closed the gates, other memories, much more grim, fluttered through her mind…
"One of the boys had pneumonia," Jo said, her voice catching just a bit.
"Had?" Meg barely got out. Jo took a silent breath. Once they found out about this, it would only make things worse - much worse.
"Marcus Carter…he died today," Jo said finally, causing just the very uproar she had feared…
Later, she had walked the long path back up to the house alone, fighting all her different emotions…fear, despair, the unknown…
Just as she was now, or so it seemed. She slowly made her way towards the schoolhouse, face turning a shade more pale as she imagined the voices of the children echoing off the walls…
Jo coughed once more, furiously trying to brush the chalk dust from her dress. "I'm okay, I'm okay! See, everything's under control!" she said, trying to sound convincing while Dan and Emil looked on in despair . . . . . . . .
.
"Alright Bess! Jump!" Tommy said in excitement - this was gonna be fun!
"I don't think so," Bess said carefully, wanting to make sure that they ALL knew that there was no way she was jumping off this thing.
"Yeah he did! I saw it! It was about a foot long, and there was dried blood ALL OVER IT!"
"Tommy," Dan said, getting a bit more agitated, "He didn't have a tomahawk. He just wanted to know what we were doin'."
"Yeah," Tommy said, a little defeated, "And then Dan had to go and break his mask right in front of him."
"I'll bet he was mad," remarked Nat, not wanting to upset Dan further.
"I'm surprised he didn't kill ya right there," Nan said, soliciting a glare from Dan.
"I hear they torture people to death when they're mad at them," Emil grinned . . . . . .
Jo pulled her shawl more tightly around her and said with a slight laugh, "A barn. What kind of school is located…in a barn?"
Franz gave her a look that he hoped betrayed all that he felt and could not say. "The best school," he said, barely above a whisper.
Jo, pulled out of her reminiscing found that she had somehow made her way upstairs to the children's rooms….their old rooms…and words of all the many emotions that these walls had seen slowly passed through her mind…
"You outta be ashamed of yourselves!" . . . . . . .
"Maybe you could be that someone for me."
"Sure."
"And maybe I could be that someone for you…". . . . . . .
"These measles are gonna sweep through here faster than a bunch of locusts…" . . . .
.
"You're gonna get well. You ALL are. I promise…" . . . . . . . . .
"Nan, there are much more interesting things to talk about than dissecting worms."
"Like what?"
"Like…boys!"
"I'd rather talk about worms…" . . . . . . . . . .
"I'm sorry that you slipped and fell Tommy, but I am SO happy that you climbed that tree. I hope you climb many more…" . . . . . . . . . . . .
A while later, after the rain had subsided, Nick, wandering around the house, finally found Jo at the kitchen table. Her head rested on her arms, and when she looked up he could see some traces of tears on her face. He gave her a supportive look and sat down across from her, waiting for her to speak first.
"I thought you'd be moving," Jo said. Was there a slight edge to her voice?
"I uh….I'm goin' tomorrow mornin'," he said lightly.
"Actually Nick," Jo said, plowing on as if Nick had never even spoken, "Why are you even going to stay around here at all? I mean, you must want to go back to the sea!"
"Jo, really, I--"
"There's nothing here for you Nick!" Jo said, her voice getting slightly louder, more upset.
"That ain't true," he said, trying to make his voice soft compared to her sharp tone.
She got up from the table, a look of defeat on her face, and said, "Maybe it is." She slowly walked out of the room, out of the house, and away to who knew where.
Later that evening Nick, becoming troubled by the lack of Jo's presence as well as her harsh words before, found himself wandering to a place on the Plumbfield property that he had fondly come to think of as his own. It was where he went when he needed to think about things in general…or make specific decisions…
As he weaved his way through the trees, he came to the giant rock that hung a few feet over the shore of the pond, almost a mini-cliff. He walked over to the edge, and sigh as he looked out over the land.
"Beautiful isn't it?" a voice interrupted him. Jo sat, ruffled skirts and all, on the other side of the rock.
"How'd you know about this place?" he asked.
"How did you?" was Jo's reply. Nick just regarded her with an ironic sort of look.
"Figures," he muttered, but his face showed good humor. He hesitantly took a seat next to Jo, once he found her gaze to be warm and inviting.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each willing and waiting for the other to go first.
"Nick I--"
"Jo, when I--" They each gave a laugh, and Nick motioned for Jo to go first.
"Well, about what I said before…I didn't mean it. I know you have to leave, and well…I suppose I just thought that you'd naturally want to go…"
"Jo, the sea will always be a home to me," Nick said, "But so is Plumbfield. And as much as I'd like to go back…"
"You can't," Jo said, a sort of 'wonder of understanding' in her voice. Nick shook his head.
"I always thought to myself that some day I would…after the kids were gone, after I wasn't needed no more. I never even imagined…" he trailed off, clearly lost in her face for the moment.
"Neither did I," she said, looking down modestly. Once she looked back up and their gazed locked, there was nothing more that words could express on this, their last night together before everything was finally changed.
Jo practically ran downstairs, her hair undone, clothes haphazardly buttoned. "Nick!" she called out, seeing him begin to walk down the path. He winced a little; she had caught him.
"Jo," he said, a guilty look on his face.
"Must you always leave with out saying good bye?" Jo asked, trying to keep the saddened grin from her face. She then turned serious and looked at him closely, "So, this is it huh?"
"Yeah," Nick nodded and ran a hand through his hair.
"Well then…you better get going," Jo said, altering her gaze between Nick and the long road.
"Yeah," he said again.
"Nick….good bye," Jo said, giving him an encouraging look.
"Bye," he said, rather reluctantly, and began to make his way down the road.
"Nick!" Jo called after him. He turned back expectantly. "Would you care to have breakfast here tomorrow?"
"Sure Jo," he said with a grin, "I'd love to."
"Okay! Bye," she called, and then busied herself with cleaning up the porch.
"Jo," Nick called.
"Yes?" Jo couldn't keep the mixed emotions out of her voice.
"Walk me to the gate?" She simply nodded, and the two walked in a comfortable silence. They both knew that they were no longer afraid of this new change, just rather reluctant to see it all happen so fast.
"Well, here we are," she said wistfully as they reached the gate.
Nick nodded his head and there were a few awkward moments where Jo made small movements as if she were going to turn around and go back to the house, and then changed her mind.
"You know," Nick remarked and Jo's interest sprang into action, "I could use some help fixin' up the new place…"
"Of course you do," Jo said in agreement. Then when Nick gave her an encouraging glance she said, "Oh, I'd love to help you…" He grinned and gave her his arm as they started down the main road.
"Don't you want to get the horses?" Jo asked.
"I think it'd be nicer if we walked," Nick smiled and Jo returned his smile.
"You know," went on, their voices becoming fainter as they walked farther down the road, "I could even cook us some dinner."
"You?" Jo chuckled, "You can cook?"
"Sure I can," Nick replied in a mock hurt voice.
"Where on earth did you learn to cook?"
"Well once, I was on this ship off the port of…."
The End
(And the Beginning of the Sequel…)
Author's End Note:
Hey guys!! Liz here and I for one am SOOO happy I finally finished this. It's been killing me forever!! And now, on to my holiday treat for you all…the sequel to this story!! Do we remember the promise? Christmas, one year. Well guess what…..it's Christmas. Ding dong!! Okay, you must excuse my excitement, but this story is going to be a….whop banger. Where the heck am I coming up with these words?? Anyway, imagine Christmas. With friends that you haven't seen in a year. Lots of hidden feelings. Christmas in…the west. At a time when African-Americans were fighting for their rights. Add an opinionated woman who has a need to help everyone…along with her entire family…and what have you got? Liz's sequel. Soooo, if you're excited, (are ya??) and if you liked this story, (or even if ya hated it) comments are appreciated at narful@hotmail.com!!! =) Thanks a million!! Back To Stories Back To K.D.A.
