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Jo rose and walked over to the calender on the wall. Only three days left until Jo would turn 30! Jo sat down disgusted with the fact that she was so old, at least in her eyes. She fumed. She did not feel like celebrating getting any older. Maybe I won't have too! She thought, 'After all no one has said anything,' Jo's morbid thoughts were interrupted by the children coming in for dinner. Jo stood up. Her head began to spin. She placed her head in her hands. Maybe she was sicker than she thought. But no, Jo was sure she knew what was causing this 'illness' and it was non curable.
Jo tried to put on a smile and went out into the hall to greet the children. ''My you children look cold!" commented Jo noticing red noses and fingers.
''We--ee-ee-e ar-rr-e!" chattered Nat. Everyone laughed except Nan.
"Are you feeling o.k Mrs. Jo?" asked Nan.
''Yes, I'm just tired." she said.
This untruthful answer seemed to satisfy Nan but as Jo raised her head she caught the look on Nicks face she knew it was not good enough for him. Nick motioned with his head toward the parlor. Jo followed reluctantly. What was she going to tell him? What he say if she told him the truth. Nick put his hands on Jo's cheeks and tilted her bowed head to make her look into his eyes.
"What's wrong?" he asked pointedly.
Jo turned her eyes away from Nick. "Nothing."
Nick sighed he could not force her to talk. There was something wrong and he knew it, if only she would talk to him. He knew Jo was stubborn and would only talk when she was ready too. He placed a kiss on her nose and said, "Do you want to see doctor Pierce?"
Jo backed away. "No!" she almost shouted. "There is nothing wrong with me so leave me alone!"
Nick looked startled at Jo. His heart raced. Something was more wrong than he had guessed. Jo never spoke to him like that. Jo bowed her head in tears and ran from the room.
Being Saturday night Meg and Amy and Laurie were over for supper as was not their weekly custom. The children whispered amongst each other. Normally Jo did not allow whispering especially at the table but she was to tired and upset to care. The grownups were all talking about something to do with the church. Jo just wandered off into her own world of self pity.
Just then Bess who was sitting on her left asked for the ham that just happened to be sitting next to Nat on her left. Nat passed it past Jo. Jo saw and then smelled the meat and thought she would be sick. She bent her head lower over her own plate but not be fore she had caught Nicks glance.
His faced showed deep concern. Jo pretended to be busy with arranging the food on her plate.
Nick watched her for a moment then said, "Do I have to come over there and feed you like a baby?" Nick had meant it as a joke but that is not how Jo took it. She burst into sobs. All at once the whispering stopped and all eyes turned towards Jo. "Jo if I said anything...." said Nick completely taken aback by this reaction from what he thought to be a joke.
Jo began to cry even harder. Meg looked at Amy and they both nodded at each other. They sprang into action each taking one of her arms and half leading her half dragging her to her room.
As soon as Jo was in her room she seemed to gain more composure, enough to be able to talk. ''Jo what's the matter?"asked Meg stroking Jo's hair.
Jo didn't say anything just kept crying.
''Come on Jo we're your sisters!" pleaded Amy.
"Talk to us Jo." said Meg grasping Jo's hand.
Jo swallowed hard. She knew she shouldn't be but she was to embarrassed to even to talk about it to her sisters. A few moments of silence past before Jo said ''I can't have a baby!"
Meg and Amy looked at each other amazed. Jo threw herself on the bed engulfed in her tears.
Meg pulled her up and held her in her arms. ''What makes you think that?" she asked doubting Jo's claim. Meg and Amy listened in silence as Jo spilled out her symptoms to her two dumfounded sisters.
"Nick won't love me anymore I can't give him a child!" Jo finished.
Meg shook her head. Sometimes Jo could be so stubborn! ''Nick loves you Jo and you know that." said Meg.
"He loves you Jo always has always will!'' said Amy.
"But I've failed him." she declared falling back onto the bed in a new torrent of tears.
"What do we do for her?" asked Amy.
Meg shook her head. ''For now she needs to sleep. In the long run lots of love." Meg and Amy stayed with Jo until she was asleep. Meg looked down at Jo tears still shining on her flushed cheeks. Was Jo right? Could she be? It seemed impossible. Meg and Amy both highly doubted Jo's claim. There were some symptoms that just did not add up.
Downstairs Meg and Amy were met by 12 pairs of eyes all filled with concern. All at once everyone was asking questions. Meg raised her hand and all questions stopped. "She just needs a good nights sleep." stated Meg.
"Bess darling, Nan could we talk to the two of you for a moment?" asked Amy.
They both rose wordlessly and followed Amy out. They grasped each others hands in a silent gesture to say were in this together. Amy explained to the girls the best she could how Jo's condition stood at this moment. The girls listened wide eyed. Meg and Amy both entreated them to keep an eye on her and update them.
Jo awoke the next morning to the sun's rays warming her cheeks. She opened her eyes, they stung mercilessly a painful reminder of yesterday. Jo wanted with all her heart to stay in bed but she knew that if she did Nick would insist on her going to the doctor and that was the last thing she wanted. So she threw off the covers. The moment her feet hit the ground everything began to spin. Jo grasped for the bed post to keep her from hitting the floor. Why was she so dizzy? And what was that smell? Jo inhaled deeply to try and clear her head it did nothing but upset her stomach. Jo tried another deep breath. She felt her stomach churn and rushed for the window. She reached it just in time. She threw up twice before she sank to the floor completely drained. Jo sat there until she could get up without fainting.
She was still dizzy but she didn't think she would throw up again. Slowly she pulled off her night gown and put on a dress. She sat down at the mirror and picked up her brush. She stopped mid stroke and looked at her face. "I'm old." she said out loud. The word old echoed in her ears and she put her head on the oak dresser and cried.
Jo walked slowly into the kitchen. There Nan and Bess were making blueberry pancakes. Normally the smell would make Jo's mouth water but today as she heard them sizzle and smelled the aroma of them cooking she thought she would be sick again.
Bess turned around and was totally taken aback by the way Jo looked. Her hair was a mess and laying upon her solders. Her eyes were red and heavy looking. Bess elbowed Nan in the side.
"Ouch!" she exclaimed turning around. She too was worried at the site of Mrs. Jo. Nan recovered quickly. "Good morning Mrs. Jo." she said.
"Good morning."' mumbled Jo.
"Do you want some pancakes?" asked Bess.
Jo fought the urge to be sick. "No thanks." she said running from the room almost knocking over Dan. Nan turned to Bess. They nodded at each other. They both knew that they had to talk to Meg and Amy at church today.
Jo inched farther away from Nick. For some reason she was angry with him. She could not figure out why. It was all her fault he had done nothing. Jo rubbed her sore back. She was tired of sitting in these wooded pews. She could not keep her mind on what the preacher was saying not matter how hard she tried. Jo grew restless and shifted this way and that in her seat. Nick reached out and took hold of her hand. Jo pulled her hand free from Nick. She looked over at him and saw the hurt in his eyes and wished she had not done that but it was to late now, to late for every thing.
Oh God why did you let this happen? she asked silently. Just then the preacher said something that caught her attention. "Even though she was great in years God blessed her with a son." That was the last straw. Tears stung at the back of Jo's eye lids she rose silently and left the church.
Nick was too stunned to move. Finally when he could move he got up and went out to look for her but she was no where to be seen, she was gone.
Jo ran harder and harder deeper and deeper into the woods. She was tried so tired but she would not stop until she reached her special place. Finally she was there at her own secret place that not even Beth had known about. She fell to the snow beside the frozen river.
"I'm a failure!" she cried. The words echoed in the silence of the forest. Jo looked heavenward and asked ''why!" No answers came.
"'Why God why now before I can give Nick a child?" she asked again addressing her question to grey sky. Again no answers came. Anger arose with in her and she stood up and began walking farther into the forest. It was getting dark and she could no longer see but that did not stop her.
Nick stood in front of 10 men on horse back.''Okay men remember one shot means she is found safe, two means she is found but injured, 3...." Nick broke off and turned his head so the men could not see his tears. His heart felt so heavy with guilt. Why had he not seen this coming? Why had he not been more sensitive?
''Don't worry Nick we will find her." said Laurie. All the other men chimed in encouraging words then they headed out in search of Jo.
Nick cursed at the snow that was falling down more quickly now. It soon would be next to impossible to find her. Nick wrapped his coat tighter around him. It was getting colder. He sent a prayer heavenward for Jo as her remembered what she had been wearing. Nick felt tears falling down his cheeks he could not stop them and there was no reason too there was no one here to see him, so he let the tears flow.
Jo stumbled on. All feeling in her fingers and toes had long ago been lost. Her head ached from crying for so long but she did not care. She would no longer burden Nick with her care and problems he would be a lot better off with out her. ''Oh Nick!" she cried then there was a sharp pain from her ankle and all went black.
Nick got of his horse again his back hurt terribly. It was beginning to grow light again and Nick was thankful for the warmth of the sun to help thaw out his blue and red fingers. Nick inhaled deeply he was losing all hope. "God help me find her!" he cried falling to his knees. "I'll do anything if you'll just help me find her." he cried.
He bent his head down and let the tears flow. He opened his eyes and looked down. To his amazement were his warm tears had fallen and melted the snow he could see a patch of blue. Nick began frantically digging at the snow. His hope soared as the snow yielded to him more and more.
It was Jo! Nick cried with relief. He took his rifle and fired two shots into the air. He lifted his Jo into his arms and held her close. He began walking home. It was a long walk and his back and arms were sore but never had any burden seemed so light.
Nick almost fainted with relief at the sight of Plumfield. Everyone was gathered outside along with Dr. Pierce. Laurie ran up and took Jo from Nick's arms and carried her up the stairs and into her room. Nick followed with Dr. Pirece behind him.
Dr. Peirce set to work quickly he did a full examination. He ankle had been broken and she had mild frost bite but she would survive he told them. Tears fell down all of Nick and Meg and Amy and Laurie's cheeks they had been so worried. Then Dr. Pierce asked a strange question to all of them.
"Has she been sick lately?" he asked. They all stared at him in wonder and confusion.
"Yes." admitted Nick.
Dr. Pierce grinned. This angered Nick. "Has she been sick to her stomach at all?" he asked.
''Yes." came a reply from the door where Nan and Bess stood.
"Come in." said Amy motioning them inside the room.
Dr. Pierce smiled and turned to address Nick. "I have made an interesting discovery." he said laughing.
Nick was growing impatient and almost shouted ''What?"
Dr. Pierce stopped smiling long enough to say,"Nick your wife is 4 months pregnant!"
Nick dropped to the bed.
"I thought that was what it was." said Meg through joyful tears. Everyone was crying tears of relief they had all been so worried. Just then Jo regained consciousness. Silently everyone left leaving Nick to share the good news with Jo.
Jo looked up into Nicks eyes and told him the truth. "I have failed you Nick." she said turning her face away from him so he would not see the tears that rolled down her cheeks. Slowly she turned to see the look on Nicks face. She had expected to see one of anger or sympathy but she was not prepared for the look on his face for great tears rolled down his cheeks. This was too much. Jo turned her head and cried harder.
Nick cupped Jo's face in his hands and made her look at him. "Do you know what Dr. Pierce said was wrong with you?" asked Nick wiping the tears off her face.
"I know I broke my ankle" she said.
"Yes you did but there is something else.."
Jo waited but Nick said nothing he only planted kisses all over her face. She gently pushed him away. ''What?"
Nick smiled. "He said we're going to have a baby!" he exclaimed.
Jo's mouth dropped open. "How can that be? That's impossible!" she said.
"Oh Jo you have made me so happy!" he said kissing her over and over again. Slowly things began to slip into place. The symptoms she had been experiencing were not because she was getting older but because she was pregnant. A smile formed on her lips and took possession of her face. It felt so good to smile! Jo now returned the kisses.
"When?" asked Jo.
"In early June." said Dr, Pierce re-entering the room.
''Can I get up now?" asked Jo.
"As soon as I give you a little lesson on these." he said holding out a pair of crutches.
Jo thumped her way down the stairs. They were noisy and awkward but if it meant she could be up she did not care. The house was quiet. "Where is everyone?" asked Jo.
"They were in the dinning room." said Nick leading the way.
"But there is no light on in there." she said following him just inside the door way. Just then the lamps were lit and there was a chorus of 'Happy Birthday!" Teas came to her eyes. They had not forgotten and she was glad!
Nan and Bess came up to hug her. ''We know." they whispered to her.
Jo smiled she could not wait to share the news with the rest of them. After every one had had one piece of cake except Jo who had two, Jo reached for Nicks hand and held it fast. "At the end of last week I was hoping you all would forget my birthday I didn't want to celebrate getting any older but age does not mean a thing, you all showed that to me. Thank-you all for putting up with me. I love you all so much! Thank you for my party! For the great food and the presents but most of all for your love. Nick and I now have a surprise for you." Jo paused only to saver the moment then said. "In early June Nick and I are going to have a baby!"
Every one began jumping up and down with excitement. All the children took turns giving Jo a hug.
"Bess and I will help look after the baby,'' said Nan.
''I can teach it to swim and play the violin." said Nat.
"And I can teach it to ride." said Dan.
Jo smiled at everyone.''Thank-you all for your offers of help I'm sure I will take you up on them!" she said laughing and gripping Nick's hand even harder. "After all I'm not as young as I used to be!"
* * *
The End!